I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
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