Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
