Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
