Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Randomize
