Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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