Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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