I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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