I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
We talked him into tasing himself.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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