My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
