Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize