If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
