Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
