OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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