I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
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