wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize