Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
operation harelip BJ is a go
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
