we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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