What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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