That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Randomize
