He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
birth control should be required to get into college
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
