Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
