just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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