He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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