Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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