i already hear my dad disowning me
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I will be naked everywhere
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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