She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
