3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
And then the night went full on bisexual.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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