we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I'm always down for nudity.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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