I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
This is the high leading the old right now
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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