i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize