Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
