It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize