Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
