He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
