I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
