yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
