i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
