I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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