I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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