I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
