I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
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