How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Just pee around me
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
