Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
