so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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