Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Randomize
