no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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