Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
she told me i tasted like america
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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