Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
