omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
