Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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