I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
