But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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