you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Bring me that man meat
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Randomize
