i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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