Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
