Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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