Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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