She is in my trunk
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
