I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize