my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
