need another drink. this is the easiest way
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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