hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
