I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
