can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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