Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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