I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Randomize
