Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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