turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
