he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Randomize
