did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
