go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Randomize