I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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