Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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