Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
