About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
he fucked my hip out of place.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
