There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
