Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I'm at about main and main street
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
