toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
